is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize