I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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