OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
