am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
