Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
