I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
