This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
