I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
