I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
