from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Welp...herpes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
