haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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