I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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