I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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