so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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