Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
