ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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