You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
