this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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