How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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