when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize