Dual....:-)
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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