so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
