Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize