So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
