My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Mom said you looked used
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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