I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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