she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
