Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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