I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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