that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
