wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hippo gnu deer
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
