i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Every concussion has its silver lining
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
