and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
