I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
