You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
