And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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