sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You left your phone here
Wait...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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