it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
