I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
