it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize