You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
