I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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