I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
