I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
