I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
