everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
