I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
