that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize