you guys were way drunker than both of me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
