I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
