1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize