we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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