Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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